Nawed - Fortunately Unfortunate or Unfortunately Fortunate

Autobiography by me.Nawed. Inflammably Flammable or Flammably Inflammable?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hot Girls, Vulnerable!

“Look at you, you are bald”, that’s all Rimi could say when we met after 2 years. Drizzling. Beautiful afternoon. Not too cloudy. The airport looks beautiful from this view at Aroma. Only two commercial consumers of the beauty, me and Rimz. “I wish it wasn’t raining, we could have sat outside. “, she extended the conversation further, “Sorry for being late. This is the 3rd time I’m here for iftar.” It was only the 13th ramadan and she already came there thrice!!! “I need a solid distraction”. Okay, that makes sense to keeping herself busy-for-nothing on an annual leave.

I could read her tense with her right thumb constantly rubbing her left. “It’s been more than 5 years and now he thinks we are not ready to get married! WTF is wrong with him?” She wore a fake smile before saying that she denied to get married some years back, “Who gets married at 24? I wanted to enjoy. I’m sure he loved those trips, unbound.” She continues, “Now, he doesn’t even want me to go along with him to Thailand.” I intruded into the conversation,”Hey Rimz, it’s the ‘bang-cock’ streets, why do you need to carry one?”. Rimi literally threw some water on my face, “Now imagine it’s not transparent but white”. “Yak, I’m not a gay.”

Two more customers came in, a boss and a ‘Yes, sir’ executive. They were both looking at my wet face which could have looked like a fight from a distance, thank God Rimz was smiling. A white-shirt black-bow staff asked whether we want to have dinner. Rimz replied a positive reply to the query with a ton of confusion on her face. “You want to addafy so long?”. “I dunno”. I really felt bad for the girl. She is so much in a distress. She started talking about what happened 3 years back when her parents asked her to get married and she was all ignorant. “I knew whom I wanted to get married.”

“Look at me now, am running down to the 30 lane within a couple of years.” The weirdest query popped up, is she still virgin? That would increase her probability of getting breast cancer. Holy! “Dude, look here. I’m so ugly”. I had to stop her there. “Rimz, a girl of 5’8″ with such a lovely figure, cute smile, sharp nose and a 40k job would be the dream for any smart guy but may be I won’t want my kids to have your hair or eyes.”

“Dude, thanks for the flirt, feeling better but how could you say that!” Yet again, some water on my face followed by a proposal, “Let’s discuss a trip to the Cock-show Bazaar (Cox’s Bazaar) after iftar.” “Ahem!”

Friday, September 24, 2010

Something about watching movies...

10:12pm. Khichuri with chinese vegetable on a light drizzling night is obviously a great offer. Only if I could stop the clock ticking and the night setting his darkness along with the load shedding on the streets, the khichuri would have tasted much better. Moreover, the food was hot, just cooked. I'm never good with hot stuffs, otherwise who won't have a girlfriend after spending around 6 years at NSU.

God, what was I thinking before asking her to turn the lights off keeping only a colorful shade glowing at one corner of the room? Okay, she's the one who would fight with me on every sentence that I would utter but here she did turn the lights off pretty obediently knowing that her father could be rude on her once I leave. That was around 0830pm or something, a bit late to start yet she played on the movie.

I've a problem while watching movies, I get so deep on the shit that I can merely concentrate on anything else, even if it's a movie like Khoj: The search. It wasn't the big screen but the small laptop screen makes us closer, may be that's how we enjoy the movie more. Thank God, the sound level was too low to bring the laptop closer creating a larger border in-between. If I sound like I didn't want to get nearer, that would be hypocrisy. At every sweet moment of the movie, my fingers would run through her hair without any hesitation. The protestant would ask me to keep my hands away once I'm done even with the tails of her hair, not the longest though, for the sake of her dad.

Foods started coming in even before the movie ended. All the menu for a single person aired from the table and landed safely at the end of the bed. The movie would finish within 20 minutes or so but already I was feeling guilt for staying back so late. We are not those 'fast' families. I should have left much earlier. It's already 10:12pm.

Could not wait much longer for the food with some impression of guilt on my face, I hope she saw that. I tried to finish the food as fast as I could. Now she started making her point, I should have left earlier. Without any argument, I told her that I was thinking the same. Now she tries to make a rude face with a satanic smile on the corner, saying "When?". "Thirty minutes back". "Taratari shesh kor (Finish the food fast). Done. Run? Not that fast. Not before a light kiss on the cheek. After all, she's not my girlfriend. We are too good friends. 10:32 it is.

Yes, I can certainly call the difference, I haven't even checked whether her cleavage was popping out or not while she was lying beside me watching the movie. It's good to have such a friend where the bonding takes over lust/sex and friendship wins by virtue.

However, the best realization came on my way back home. I was scared while riding crossing the "Kabarsthan" (Graveyard). It was too dark. I wasn't carrying much money but my cell phone. I could barely see anything else than the narrow road with graveyard on both sides. If that wasn't enough, load shedding helped it get grungier. I was simply terrified and started praying.

Suddenly, I realized something. May be it was Allah sending me a warning message. I must have done something wrong. I googled a simple solution. To get rid of the sin, I should have asked one of her sisters to accompany us while watching the movie, off course without any other intimate action being performed.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Mugging Computer: The Dhaka Style

MUG-A-PC:
Rumor says, there are several new PC mugging gangs evolved in the city lately. This creative young guys would be awaiting your appearance at a busy city street. If you are traveling back home on a rickshaw alone with your PC after getting it repaired, you are bound to get hijacked unless you are one of them.

Step by Step:
1. Someone would be keenly observing your PC while it's getting repaired. He may even ask you about the configuration and price.
2. This guy informs his partners when you are about to get out of the market
3. A rickshaw will appear right in front and accept any amount you offer
4. Right before it comes to a circle (moor), the rickshaw puller would ask you to get down because he needs to fix his steering or something
5. Some guys would approach you from nowhere and push you down to the floor as if they haven't seen you
6. Once you get up, they will start arguing blocking your view of the rickshaw
7. Meanwhile, a new rickshaw puller from the gang has already started riding it
8. Someone else from the gang would sit on as the passenger covering the PC with a carton or something
9. By the time you are out of the argument, the rickshaw is gone
10. Oh, by the way, they would take the busy street because you would think they have fled from the empty one

NB: Even if you find your own PC, their gang will make up something and you would get beaten up as if you were the mugger. Generally, local police is also involved to the crime.

FAMOUS SPOTS:
1. Gaus-e-Pak Bhaban (Motijheel) to Purana Paltan and TSC
2. Elephant Road market to shahbag and TSC
3. IDB to Mirpur 10
4. Dhanmondi Rd 9/10

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

4 types of Wedding Invitees


After attending 6 occassion in one fine chilly winter evening, what else do you expect me to write? It’s not happening because hundreds of people are getting married but because each of them actually inviting thousands of people. I don’t get the reason behind calling so many people at the marriage ceremony when it’s only the awesomeness of the stage, bride’s look and the food menu is all that people discuss on their way back home, unless you are anyone closely related to the bride or the groom. Then you would be more engaged to pose perfect in front of the camera than looking aside whether the bride is feeling good about taking the corrective shots.

There are 4 types of guests; relative, official, friends and potentials. By potentials, I don’t only mean my future boss or the rich guys with great investment power but I would like to include those “to be” boyfriends or girlfriends of the groom or bride’s siblings and friends. The latter mentioned guests within the 4 categories are super cautious about every move as their future mother-in-law is watching them with the hawk eye. They are probably as more cautious than the bride or the groom on stage. Believe me, I have seen guys who would experience all torments yet spend a huge time playing with his girlfriend’s little brother whereas more than the accumulated time that he spent playing with his girlfriend’s hair.

How about those hot shot officials or bosses who would arrive with a huge box of gift just to boost up his employees motivation to work, arguably to prove himself “rich with gifts”. These people might just head up straight to the stage, take some snaps while their chuffeur carries the gift box to the table assigned for receiving gifts and tagging them with a circle “420″, Mr. Babar Hossain, Baridhara. The chauffeur would make sure they mention the designation of his boss on the gift registration copy.

Look at those digital photographers who can take corrective measures right away and take another snap if required unlike those days when one snap meant 1/36 costing 2000/36 equals to 55.55 taka. These days, wedding photography has become an art of rare angles, unexpected shots and post wedding manipulation. The good thing is, photographers can understand the nature of people’s perception within a few days right after the photos are posted on facebook. Every time you would write “Nice shot” on the comments, makes them eligible to charge higher in the upcoming season.

Notice the chauffeurs, they are having their own party, young ones would be shitting about their bosses and the older would be patronising their loyalty towards his profession. Whoever makes a better impression within the short time adda, actually gets more “khatirdari” at the dinner table. Least to mention, they would only sit in a flock and carefully would watching their bosses whether their face is showing any sign of leaving the venue soon. Two things make their adda livelier, beautiful girls and experiences gathered while serving duties for wedding cermonies. Let me share a secret; if you want to know about any guy or girl, just try to know who’s her chauffeur. Believe me, they can provide you with the rawest data.

Dancing on the stage is never so easy and it’s worst if you see the ‘beyaras’ looking at your female friend with an utter pervert look. It’s their democratic right and we can’t even do anything about it, they are also human being.

Put some observation on the other sides of the stage, surely will lots of interesting things happening around you. Share it with the world, it’s fun.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Never lost it ever before, don't wanna lose it

Never lost it ever before, never wanna lost it to anyone else,
Every heart wants to roam around, mine did it for the first time,
my heart never walked in this street ever before,
I don't want it to get lost in the darkness, show the light dear,
hold it forever, girl, please hold it forever.

Don't you see my heart creeping towards yours,
Fix it girl, for all time, for some beautiful times to come,
Live it large with me, love it like anything,
Lend me your soul, only till my last breathe.

Once again, I tell you, I've never lost it ever before,
neither would I like to lose it to anyone else,
would you just hold the light, my heart is on your street,
this is the first time, my heart took a trip here,
show me some light, hold it forever,
Never lost it, don't wanna lose it to anyone else,
just lend your soul dear.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Answer me a yes

I know it's only a few days,
I left my signs with you,
You will think of me someday, someway,
we will never forget those simplest moments.

That was love or not,
Let's not judge that thought,
live the freeway,
call me if you still want to sit down with me
just to think about it a lil bit more.

There are falling we don't see,
we don't measure,
but we feel a hole somewhere around here,
somewhere deep inside.

***

I left my signs just a few days back,
You left me some too,
I admit, I need more,
answer me a 'yes' if I ask you that

say me something,
remind me of those simplest times,
hold on, am calling you,
did you think about it just a lil more



(*** you can put this part over there if you want:

(Live the freeway,
Live the freeway,
Join my day,
when you L-E-A-V-E the freeway
call me if you still want to sit down with me
just to think about it a lil bit more.)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

21 Friends

Write down the names of either 21 of your friends/ randomly selected 21 friends from your list and answer the questions!

1 Sohel
2 Rusho
3 Kalyan
4 Augustin
5 Arif
6 Baadhon
7 Shamira
8 Mou
9 Raka
10 Jayita
11 Mishu
12 Shishir
13 Zico
14 Miran
15 Mitul
16 Merina
17 Sifat
18 Mumu
19 Trisha
20 Sumaiya
21 Mo




1 How did u meet 4?
he was a genius from my last school, St Gregory's...forgot how i was introduced to him


2. What would you do if you never met 1?
we call ourselves, 'jonmogoto dosto', our dad's are d closest buddies of each other...thr is no posibility we cudnt hv met

3. What would you do if you dated 18?
my dad wud hv gone bankrupt !! i wud hv promised not to date anyone further. LOL. jus kiddin... luv u sis

4. Have you ever seen 17 cry?
not realy...but heard her cryin..n yes, @ any lil disaster, she wud say "nawed, amar kanna pacche"... hey swthrt, dn start cryin now

5. Would 3 and 13 make a cute couple??
i dunno whether thy know each other but if gayism was legal here, they wud hv bn a talented couple fr sure :P


6. Describe 9.
ajoooob typer joss friend !!


7. Do you like number 14?
who doesn't. aage thekei nice guy, now he has a tie


8. Do you think 16 is awesome?
yeah !!! she is really awesome !!


9. When was the last time you talked to 19?
last night !!!

10.Where does 15 live?
@ fari's heart.

11. What is the best thing about 21?
being "Monica"

12. What would you like to tell 18 right now?
wake up...it's already late.


13. What is the best thing about 10?
she's a nicey


14 What's the best memory you have of 16?
gud tyms @ red shift.


15. When is the next time you will see 12?
maybe in this week...or the next...but he betr show up wth d packet I left @ his place


16. Is 20 pretty?
ahem !!!


17. What was your first impression of 4?
leonardo da vinci


18. Is 1 your best friend?
hell yeah !!

19. Have you seen 3 in the last month?!!
last month!?! i've attended his engagement last night.


20. When was the last time you saw 14?
I saw miran som days back @ d Mojo's tea with my hobu bhaabi


21. Have you ever been to 13's house?
oh yess!! oita to ekshomoe SS'er Hawa Bhaban chhilo

22. When is the next time you will see 11?
dunnno...may be next wk...or the next to it...


23. Are you really close to 8?
very close !!!! she is my twin :P


24. Would you give 20 a hug?
after d incident on my b'day... i gues i shall save a biiig hug for her b'day


25. Describe the relationship between 2 and 4.
invalid question: no relation


26. What's your friendship like with 8?
super glue. hop it remains the same throughout my entire life.


27. Have you ever danced with 19?
khekz...somehow, we did... heheehe


28. How do you know 21?
through sumaiya, i guess.


29. Does 2 have a bf/gf?
dude...had he nt grabbed an aussie chic, he mus b single now


30. Have you ever wanted to punch 4 in the face?
nevr had a reason...but how abt tryin it !! khekz...hehehehe


31. Has 9 met your mother?
yap.


32. Have you ever traveled anywhere with 19?
well...if dhanmondi to rifles or my place counts as travelling, then yes we did travel...hehehee


33. If you ever gave 7 $100 dollars, what would he/she do with it?
urmmm...i realy dunno. gotta ask her. may be she wud save it for her kid's education or a surprise gift for meraj bhai (be regular on fb, tht reminds u bdays).


34. What is your best memory of 1?
dost.. so many gud memories... it wud b unfair to put just 1 here. thnx fr being thr.


35. What is the one thing you most want 2 to know?
when are u really coming to dhaka !! ??


36. When did u meet 20?
jus som days back


37. What do you like most about 7?
look...attitude...personality...i guess everything !! :)


38. How did you meet 10?
@ mentors... i don rem'ber how we got introduced tho


39. Have you ever seen 6 cry ?
nope. tryin to imagine how wud she luk if she cries...khekz


40. Would 14 and 6 make a good couple?
well...if they are intrested :P :P just kidding !!!


41. Are you good friends with 19?
oh hell yeah !!


42. Do you think 2 is cute?
1 of her girl (friend) told me he luks lyk a cute lil elepele ( i dunno how elephant got dis new name)


43. Something about 5.
dost, u've d talent, don't lose it !!


44. How did u meet 13?
Gregorian brothers are always one


45. What is 7's favorite color?
white i guess !! am i right sam??

46. What would you do if 17 just confessed that he/she liked you?
ahem...if she really does...then...ahem...


47. Fact about 19.
her current state: bhitor bole duure thakuk, bahir bole ashuk na

48. What does 1 do for a living?
BRAC Bank job


49. Would you ever live with 16?
won't b d wrst thng to do... nights wud b pop-corn n movies.. days wud b offic.. no pervert thought plz


50. Is 8 single?
she's engaged

51. Where does 7 live?
gulshan


52. What do you think about 9?
she myt actually SMS us @ her wedding "shamne theke shor, u ppl r makin me laugh"


53. What's the worst and best thing about 12?
Worst: diplomatic
Best : diplomatic

54. Who is 6 going out with?
wish i knew.


55. What do you like about 17?
that she prays... simplicity... the list wud b too long...